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Dickens, Charles

"The Pickwick Papers"


'Observe this, Mr. Pickwick,' said the disconcerted officer,
gasping for breath. 'I've been assaulted in the execution of my
dooty by your servant in your chamber. I'm in bodily fear. I call
you to witness this.'
'Don't witness nothin', Sir,' interposed Sam. 'Shut your eyes
up tight, Sir. I'd pitch him out o' winder, only he couldn't fall far
enough, 'cause o' the leads outside.'
'Sam,' said Mr. Pickwick, in an angry voice, as his attendant
made various demonstrations of hostilities, 'if you say another
word, or offer the slightest interference with this person, I
discharge you that instant.'
'But, Sir!' said Sam.
'Hold your tongue,' interposed Mr. Pickwick. 'Take that hat
up again.'
But this Sam flatly and positively refused to do; and, after he
had been severely reprimanded by his master, the officer, being
in a hurry, condescended to pick it up himself, venting a great
variety of threats against Sam meanwhile, which that gentleman
received with perfect composure, merely observing that if Mr.
Namby would have the goodness to put his hat on again, he
would knock it into the latter end of next week. Mr. Namby,
perhaps thinking that such a process might be productive of
inconvenience to himself, declined to offer the temptation, and,
soon after, called up Smouch.


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