But she
begged of him not to ask her; they had many quarrels on this subject, but
in the end he understood that it was not fair to ask her. Sometimes Stack
and Journeyman came in, and they argued about weights and distances, until
midnight; old John came to see them, and every day he had heard some new
tip. It often rose to Esther's lips to tell William to back his fancy and
have done with it; she could see that these discussions only fatigued him,
that he was no nearer to the truth now than he was a fortnight ago.
Meanwhile the horse he had thought of backing had gone up in the betting.
But he said that he must be very careful. They had only a hundred pounds
left; he must be careful not to risk this money foolishly--it was his very
life-blood. If he were to lose all this money, he wouldn't only sign his
own death warrant, but also hers. He might linger on a long while--there
was no knowing, but he would never be able to do any work, that was
certain (unless he went out to Egypt); the doctor had said so, and then it
would be she who would have to support him. And if God were merciful
enough to take him off at once he would leave her in a worse plight than
he had found her in, and the boy growing up! Oh, it was terrible! He
buried his face in his hands, and seemed quite overcome. Then the cough
would take him, and for a few minutes he could only think of himself.
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