"I thought once or twice of killing myself. It didn't seem to me that I had
the right to live. I had always had the best ideals, the strictest sense of
right and wrong...It does not seem possible even now."
Alexina could endure no more. Another moment and she felt that she should
be looking straight into a naked soul. She felt so sorry for him that she
quite forgot her own wrongs or her horror of his misdeeds. She wished that
she still loved him, he looked so forlorn and in need of the physical
demonstrations of sympathy; but although she was prepared to defend him if
need be, and help him as best she could, she felt that she would willingly
die rather than touch him....She wondered if souls in dissolution subtly
wafted their odors of corruption if you drew too close....
"Well, what is done is done," she said briskly. "I'll tell Gora and engage
that she will never mention it. You have suffered enough. Now let us
discuss ways and means. Does this new business permit you to contribute
anything to the household expenses?"
"I'm afraid not. It takes time to work up a business."
"Then we must live on what I have left, and you know what taxes are. I
suppose I had better look for a job."
"What?" He seemed to spring out of his apathy, and stared at her
incredulously. "You?"
"Yes. We must have more money. I could sell the flats and go into the
decorating business.
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