She alluded to you, casually,
of course, more than once; but as I looked back I gathered that your
marriage had been a mistake and that you had known it for a long time.
"She did not come to England until four months later, and then she was
in charge of a hospital. I took her out occasionally--she was very much
confined. I liked her as much as ever. But _I didn't want her_. It seemed
tragic. There was one chance in a million that I should ever meet you
again. Once I deliberately drew her on to talk of you and asked why you
did not divorce your husband. She commented satirically upon the intense
conservatism of your family and of your own inflexible pride. She added
that you were the only beautiful woman she had ever known who seemed to be
quite indifferent to men--sexless, she meant! But no woman knows anything
about other women. I knew better!
"As I said it was rather tragic. To be haunted by a chimera! I liked her so
much. Admired her. Who wouldn't? If she had been able to take me home, to
remain with me, there is no doubt in the world that I should have married
her if she would have had me....I prefer now to believe that she wouldn't.
Why should she, with a great career in front of her?
"No doubt I should have loved her--with what little love I had to give. But
those months had taught me that I could do without her, although I enjoyed
her letters. Even so...
"It was after she came to London that I felt I had to talk to some one and
I went down, to the country to see Lady Vick-Elton Gwynne's mother.
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