She had
founded a hospital and run it, and was resting, worn out. She is a hard
nut, empty, withered, arid. Nothing left in her but noblesse oblige. But
there is little she doesn't know. She was smoking a black cigar that would
have knocked me down and looked like an old sibyl. I told her the whole
story--all of it, that is that was not too sacred. She puffed such, a cloud
of smoke that I could see nothing but her hard, bright, wise, old eyes. 'Go
after her,' she said. 'Find her. Divorce her. Marry her. That's where you
men have the advantage. You can stalk straight out into the open and demand
what you want point blank. No scheming, plotting, deceit, being one thing
and pretending another, in other words ice when you are fire. Beastly role,
woman's--' I interrupted to remind her that it was twelve years since I
had seen you; that you had thrown me down as hard as a man ever got it and
married another man. There was no more reason to believe that I could win
you now. Then she asked me what I had come to see her and bore her to death
for when she was trying to rest. 'If you want a thing go for it and get it,
or if you can't get it at least find out that you can't. Also see her again
and find out whether you want her or not, instead of mooning like a silly
ass.'
"The upshot was I made tip my mind to go to California as soon as I could
obtain my discharge. It never occurred to me that you were in Paris.
Pages:
389
390
391
392
393
394
395
396
397
398
399
400
401
402
403
404
405
406
407
408
409
410
411
412
413