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Howells, William Dean, 1837-1920

"The Garotters"

'Here! this will revive you, and it'll refresh you to
have this cologne on your head.'
ROBERTS, rejecting a mouthful of the cologne with a furious sputter,
and springing to his feet: 'Why, you've given me the cologne to
DRINK, Agnes! What are you about? Do you want to poison me? Isn't
it enough to be robbed at six o'clock on the Common, without having
your head soaked in brandy, and your whole system scented up like a
barber's shop, when you get home?'
MRS. ROBERTS: 'Robbed?' She drops the wineglass, puts the decanter
down on the hearth, and carefully bestowing the flagon of cologne in
the wood-box, abandons herself to justice: 'Then let them come for
me at once, Edward! If I could have the heart to send you out in
such a night as this for a few wretched rosebuds, I'm quite equal to
poisoning you. Oh, Edward, WHO robbed you?'
ROBERTS: 'That's what I don't know.' He continues to wipe his head
with his handkerchief, and to sputter a little from time to time.
'All I know is that when I got--phew!--to that dark spot by the Frog
Pond, just by--phew!--that little group of--phew!--evergreens, you
know--phew!--'
MRS. ROBERTS: 'Yes, yes; go on! I can bear it, Edward.'
ROBERTS: '--a man brushed heavily against me, and then hurried on
in the other direction. I had unbuttoned my coat to look at my
watch under the lamp-post, and after he struck against me I clapped
my hand to my waistcoat, and--phew!--'
MRS.


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