It was the one thing for which Mr. Drake had begged as a memorial of
Joe Brownlow, and it still hung in its old place. It was of the
Great Physician, consoling and healing all around-—the sick, the
captive, the self-tormenting genius, the fatherless, the widow.
Was this the answer? Something darted through her mind like a pang
followed by a strange throb—-"Give yourself up to Him. Seek the true
good first. The other may lie on its way."
But it was only a pang. The only too-natural recoil came the next
minute. Was not she as religious as there was any need to be, or at
least as she could be without alienating her children or affecting
more than she felt? Give herself to Him? How? Did that mean a
great deal of church-going, sermon-reading, cottage visiting,
prayers, meditations, and avoidance of pleasure? That would never
do; the boys would not bear it, and Janet would be alienated;
besides, it would be hypocrisy in one who could not sit still and
think, or attend to anything lengthy and wearisome.
So, as a kind of compromise, she looked at the photograph which hung
below, and to it she almost spoke out her answer. "Yes, I'll be very
good, and give away lots of things. Mary Ogilvie shall come and keep
me in order, and she won't let me be naughty, if I ever want to be
naughty when I get away from Ellen.
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