The doubt which had so suddenly presented itself was in some degree
the same one which had stirred Edouard. Was it that he was really
unable to express his feelings, or was it that Miss Warriner could
not understand them? Was it really something lacking in him, or was
it not something lacking in her? He flushed at the disloyalty of the
thought and put it from him; but, as his memory reached back over the
past three months, the question returned again and again with fresh
force, and would not be denied. He called himself a fatuous,
conceited fool. Because he could not make a woman love him other men
could do so. That was really the answer; he was not the man. But the
answer did not seem final. What, after all, was the thing his love
sought--a woman only, or a woman capable of deep and great feeling?
Even if he could not inspire such emotions, even if another could, he
would still be content and proud to love a woman capable of such deep
feelings. But if she were without them? At the thought, Corbin stared
blankly before him as though he had stumbled against a stone wall.
What sign had she ever given him that she could care greatly? Was not
any form of emotion always distasteful to her? Was not her mind
always occupied with abstract questions? Was she not always engaged
in her own self-improvement--with schemes, it is true, for bettering
the world; but did her heart ever ache once for the individual? What
was it, then, he loved? Something he imagined this girl to be, or was
he in love with the fact that his own nature had been so mightily
stirred? Was it not the joy of caring greatly which had carried him
along? And if this was so, was he now to continue to proffer this
devotion to one who could not feel, to a statue, to an idol? Were not
the very things which rendered her beautiful the offerings which he
himself had hung upon her altar? Did the qualities he really loved in
her exist? Was he not on the brink of casting his love before one who
could neither feel it for him nor for any other man? He stood up,
trembling and frightened.
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