Sometimes he plunged into the most embarrassing situations. On one
occasion he dropped clean through a bivouac roof into a hot bath
containing a Lieutenant-Colonel, who punched him with a sponge and
threw soap at him. On another he came fluttering down from the blue
into the midst of a labour company of Chinese coolies, who immediately
fell on their faces, worshipping him as some heavenly being, and later
cut off all his buttons as holy relics. An eventful life.
PATLANDER.
* * * * *
A PRECOCIOUS INFANT.
"Will any kind lady adopt nice healthy baby girl, 6 weeks old,
good parentage; seen London."--_Times_.
* * * * *
"The King has given L100 to the Victoria Station free buffet
for sailors and soldiers."--_The Times_.
In the days of RICHARD I. it was a commoner who furnished the King in
this respect. _Vide_ Sir WALTER SCOTT'S _Ivanhoe_, vol. ii., chap.
9: "Truly, friend," said the Friar, clenching his huge fist, "I will
bestow a buffet on thee."
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Prisoner_ (_on his dignity_). "BUT YOU VOS NOT KNOW
VOT I AM. I AM A SERGEANT-MAJOR IN DER PRUSSIAN GUARD."
_Tommy_. "WELL, WOT ABAHT IT? I'M A PRIVATE IN THE WEST KENTS."]
* * * * *
RHYMES OF THE TIMES.
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