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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, October 31, 1917"


_Richard_. What were the Thirty-Nine Articles? I don't think I ever
heard of them before.
_Mrs. M_. When you are of a proper age to understand them they shall
be explained to you. They contained the doctrines of the Church of
England, but were abolished by Archbishop WELLS, who substituted
seventy-eight of his own. But as Mary is looking tired I will now
conclude our conversation.
* * * * *
THE MOTH PERIL.
["Fruit growers are warned to be on their guard against
the wingless moth, for lime-washing the trees is almost
useless."--_Evening Paper_.]
If the brute ignores the notice, "Keep off the trees," order him away
in a sharp voice.
Sulphuric acid is a most deadly antidote; but only the best should be
used. If the moth be held over the bottle for ten minutes it will show
signs of collapse and offer to go quietly.
This pest abhors heat. A good plan is to heat the garden-roller in the
kitchen fire to a white heat and push it up the tree.
A gramophone in full song, is also useful. After a few minutes the
moth will come out of its dug-out with an abstracted expression on its
face, and commit suicide by jumping into the mouth of the trumpet.
* * * * *
A COMFORTING THOUGHT FOR USE ON WAR-TIME RAILWAYS.


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