I waded through with some difficulty, and one of the
footmen wiped me as clean as he could with his handkerchief, for I was
filthily bemired; and my nurse confined me to my box till we returned
home, when the queen was soon informed of what had passed, and the
footman spread it about the court; so that all the mirth for some days
was at my expense.
CHAPTER VI.
SEVERAL CONTRIVANCES OF THE AUTHOR TO PLEASE THE KING AND QUEEN. HE
SHOWS HIS SKILL IN MUSIC. THE KING INQUIRES INTO THE STATE OF
ENGLAND, WHICH THE AUTHOR RELATES TO HIM. THE KING'S OBSERVATIONS
THEREON.
I used to attend the king's levee[73] once or twice a week, and had
often seen him under the barber's hand, which indeed was at first very
terrible to behold; for the razor was almost twice as long as an
ordinary scythe. His majesty, according to the custom of the country,
was only shaved twice a week. I once prevailed on the barber to give me
some of the suds or lather, out of which I picked forty or fifty of the
strongest stumps of hair, I then took a piece of fine wood and cut it
like the back of a comb, making several holes in it at equal distance
with as small a needle as I could get from Glumdalclitch. I fixed in the
stumps so artificially, scraping and sloping them with my knife towards
the points, that I made a very tolerable comb; which was a seasonable
supply, my own being so much broken in the teeth that it was almost
useless: neither did I know any artist in that country so nice and exact
as would undertake to make me another.
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