But he found their doors every where
closed; and all his importunities could not avail to extort an answer.
Sadly and slowly he returned to his own bedchamber; but there again he
found fresh instances of desertion, which had occurred during his short
absence; the pages of his bedchamber had fled, carrying with them the
coverlids of the imperial bed, which were probably inwrought with gold,
and even a golden box, in which Nero had on the preceding day deposited
poison prepared against the last extremity. Wounded to the heart by this
general desertion, and perhaps by some special case of ingratitude, such
as would probably enough be signalized in the flight of his personal
favorites, he called for a gladiator of the household to come and dispatch
him. But none appearing,--"What!" said he, "have I neither friend nor
foe?" And so saying, he ran towards the Tiber, with the purpose of
drowning himself. But that paroxysm, like all the rest, proved transient;
and he expressed a wish for some hiding-place, or momentary asylum, in
which he might collect his unsettled spirits, and fortify his wandering
resolution.
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