And in this manner one thing after another had come
between them and had affected his feelings for her. There were hundreds of
little things! A little while ago her lips had been so badly cracked that
she couldn't even smile naturally; and just think, an insignificant thing
like that had repulsed him, absolutely spoiled her for him! Dear me, she
must not think that he found fault with her because of a cracked lip; he
knew very well that she could not help such a thing; he was not
stupid.... But the truth of the matter was that it had reached a point
where he was beginning to dread her visits. He had to admit it; he had sat
on this very chair and suffered, suffered tortures, when he heard her
knock on the door. However, no sooner had she gone away than he felt
relieved; he got ready and went out, too. He went to some restaurant and
dined, dined unfeelingly and with a good appetite, not at all deploring
what he had done. He wanted her to know these things so that she would
understand him.... "But, dearest Hanka, I have told you all this and
perhaps added to your sorrow instead of alleviating it. I wanted you to
see how necessary has become our parting--that there are deep and weighty
reasons for it--that it is not merely a whim.
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