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Harte, Bret, 1836-1902

"The Heritage of Dedlow Marsh and Other Tales"

Then I sez, 'You allowed in your paper that I
oughter hev a little sevility knocked inter me, and I'm here to hev
it done. You ken begin it now.' With that I reached for him, and
we waltzed oncet or twicet around the room, and then I put him up
on the mantelpiece and on them desks and little boxes, and took him
down again, and kinder wiped the floor with him gin'rally, until
the first thing I knowed he was outside the winder on the sidewalk.
On'y blamed if I didn't forget to open the winder. Ef it hadn't
been for that, it would hev been all quiet and peaceful-like, and
nobody hev knowed it. But the sash being in the way, it sorter
created a disturbance and unpleasantness OUTSIDE."
"But what was it all about?" I repeated. "What had he done to
you?"
"Ye'll find it in that paper," he said, indicating a copy of the
"Guardian" that lay on my table with a lazy nod of his head.
"P'r'aps you don't read it? No more do I. But Joe Bilson sez to
me yesterday: 'Bill,' sez he, 'they're goin' for ye in the
"Guardian."' 'Wot's that?' sez I. 'Hark to this,' sez he, and
reads out that bit that you'll find there."
I had opened the paper, and he pointed to a paragraph. "There it
is. Pooty, ain't it?" I read with amazement as follows:--

"If the Pioneer Stage Company want to keep up with the times, and
not degenerate into the old style 'one hoss' road-wagon business,
they'd better make some reform on the line.


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